On 8th of may 2015 lifelines came together: by coincidences based on the searchmovings of my life in these days: I should get into contact with my jewish relations /family in USA I haven`t knowm nearly nothing about before.

 

 

With a little report I will start here, but by chance add more kategories. I even don`t know how the developement/evolution continues.

 

May 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Shalom Israel and the miracle of Bad Essen”

 

 

 

“Shalom Israel” – when my wife asked me if we should attend the choir concert of the Nikolai choir in the course of our weekly gospel choir rehearsal in Bad Essen on 10^thMay, I didn´t have to think long. “An oratorio about the history of Israel? I would like to hear that – I have to get to know it.” Another chance to learn something about the spirit of Israel, the spirit and history of Judaism and most of all to feel and perceive something “Jewish” with the music and thereby be in resonance with it. My wife bought two tickets and when we learned that there would be an introductory talk with the composer of the oratorio, Klaus Heizmann, on Friday 8^thMay, I knew at once that I wanted to attend that, too. And that I would forego my weekly sauna visit.

 

I had no idea that and how the concert would set the ball rolling - for me, a grandson of a Jewish merchant from Wiesbaden. I didn´t know much more about my grandfather than the fact that he had been a merchant, a married man and father of two or more conjugal children. And that my mother was conceived out of wedlock, in a relationship with the nurse, my grandmother who was born in 1898. He is supposed to have financed the expensive orphanage into which my mother came after her birth. Although not acknowledging his fatherhood, he is still supposed to have finally paid a compensation of 3000,- RM. A substantial amount as I only learned recently. Looking back, this proved not to be so bad as he died in the early twenties of the last century. His wife and children were said to have emigrated to America later. Apparently, my mother tried to get into touch with the family after the war, but this was not welcome at the time.

 

In the course of examining my personal history in the context of psychotherapy and psychotherapeutic vocational training – I have been working as a therapist for addicts in stationary rehab treatment for 14 years – I have been confronted with this topic time and again. And who is not interested in his own ancestry, his roots? So I have always been interested in finding out what it means to be Jewish. Around the year 2000, I went to Wiesbaden for the first time to find traces – without success, even though I had an address. The topic of the Near East and most of all analysing National Socialism have always moved and activated me. As a 20 year-old, I was the speaker of the committee “Kristallnacht” in Lübbecke and organised commemoration events for the 40^thanniversary of the Kristallnacht in 1978. That was the start of a long-time political commitment.

 

So now “Shalom Israel” in Bad Essen. The introductory talk on Friday. The composer is welcomed, begins and introduces himself… a slight shudder runs through me: He comes from Wiesbaden. The above mentioned oratorio is accompanied only exceptionally by the composer in Bad Essen, my new hometown since 2011. And he is from Wiesbaden, my grandfather´s hometown. After the concert, I addressed Klaus Heizmann and told him that his origin Wiesbaden moved me as my grandfather used to live there. I mentioned the address and we talked a little. And later at home? At home I wondered why I was all churned up inside, what had made me ponder.

 

The next day was my birthday. I had wished for a quiet day with my wife. In the last years, there had always been a lot of work, many appointments. Although most of them had been nice and meaningful, they had taken room for a calm togetherness. So on this afternoon, I found time to google, this time “Jews in Wiesbaden”. For the first time, I came across the homepage of “Aktives Museum Spiegelgasse” and Paul- Lazarus-Stiftung in Wiesbaden. They offer a database query. I wrote an email, but got my grandfather´s first name wrong. I had not viewed the files I had for such a long time and missed to look it up before sending the email. Compiling a genogram on my PC, I had noted Wilhelm mistakenly, as the address was Wilhelmstr 54.

 

On Monday, I was ill in bed at home, I received a first response from the museum via email:

 

“Dear Mr. Behring, I have forwarded your enquiry to my colleagues doing research in our group. Somebody will attend to your request and contact you. As we are all volunteers and very busy, I apologize for any delay. Kind regards, Elisabeth L.-K.

 

Well, so far, so good. Finally another chance to get to know more about my roots. On Monday afternoon I received a call from Mr. Frank Bartelt.He had not found a Wilhelm Kahn, Wilhelmstr. 54. (I changed the name as I don´t want to mention the correct name here yet.) I answered at once that I might be mistaken concerning the first name. Somewhere I had to have a document of my mother´s from a family court. At once, I started the search. In the end, it was not where I reckoned but I had placed it in an old file of my mother´s in the attic. I called back to give him the correct name. Even on the same day I received another email from Mr. Bartelt.The content: A personal data sheet of my grandfather´s family and a copy of an extract from the registry of deaths of the Jewish community.

 

Names and facts for the first time… I learned that my grandfather died early – in 1921 – and that not everybody of the family emigrated to the USA on time. The only uncle was arrested in France, deported to Auschwitz and killed there.

 

I thanked Mr. Barteltand started another search at once. But first of all, I had to inform Dan Booth Cohen. He was the chairman of the US Systemic Constellations from 2010-2012 and I met him on a congress on psychotraumatology and war-related traumata in Bad Herrenalb in 2010. On a workshop with him and Alexandra Senfft, I had volunteered spontaneously for a constellation on reconciliation. (“Consider the seed we have originated from. Who dares to forgive?”) Subsequently, we exchanged cards, kept contact on facebook and he wrote an article about this constellation, published in the USA. Since, I have only sporadically followed up on his activities. Now I wrote to him about the newly found contact and data sheet on that very day. On the next day, I received a reply: a link to an obituary of another daughter of my grandfather´s from 2006. Several names were mentioned here: her children and grandchildren and their relatives.

 

I forwarded this email immediately to Mr. Barteltat the Aktives Museum and the Paul-Lazarus-Stiftung, respectively. I received another record from him: a memorial page from Yad Vashem for my uncle´s daughter, perished like him in Auschwitz. The other children had apparently been hidden by nuns in France but found and killed by the Nazis. Mr. Barteltthanked me on the phone and told me that it should be possible to continue research with these names. I could google them and some of them were also on facebook.

 

I looked. I found. And I wrote. Finally, on Wednesday, I received a reply: the confirmation of my friend request on facebook! And:” I look forward to hearing from you.”

 

We started an exchange. I received photos. And, above all, a photo of my grandfather! So much has happened in the last days!

 

Today, Friday, 15^thMay 2015, Dan Booth Cohen phoned the daughter of my youngest Jewish aunt. He informed her about the background to the knowledge found in systemic family constellations, the background of family connections. Tonight I received an email: “Juergen, I am on holiday at the seashore enjoying a relaxing time. This morning Larry & I spoke to Dan.  It was a good conversation that helped me to process all that I have learned these past few days. It is good having a new cousin! 
Susan (my brothers & my other cousins call me Susie )“

 

I replied: “It is really good to have a new cousin! ….“

 

Jirina Prekop was right when she told me in a friendly telephone call on Wednesday night: “Juergen, this is a miracle!”

 

Yes, it is. And I am very, very grateful to have been rewarded so generously.

 

 

 

My special thanks to:

 

·         Aktives Museum Spiegelgasse, Wiesbaden and Paul-Lazarus-Stiftung with Frank Bartelt

 

·         Dan Booth Cohen

 

And Susan, my newly found cousin, willing to encounter with open heart and whom I may now become acquainted with.

 

Furthermore, I thank my wife just for being there. She could hardly hold up with the speed of all that happened to me this week and for her, the process was nearly as strenuous as for me.

 

However, what happened this week was based on impulse, supervision of guides throughout long years. Without these, the events of this week would not have been possible. That is why I would also like to thank:

 

·         Walther Mauckner (ZIPAT), who counselled an important family constellation involving holocaust victims that I participated in.

 

·         Dr. Friedrich Ingwersen, who once brought me to tears in a lecture on a case study with a missing grandfather. And who convinced me of the significance of a visit to Israel. Moreover, he created an important base for my understanding of the work with family constellations as well as transgenerational dynamics – in the line of “Ordnungen der Liebe” (based on the work of Hellinger on family constellation).

 

·         Dr. Ingo Gerstenberg, who taught me beside the well- structured bonding psychotherapy the work with family constellations and who supported me substantially in the realization and reconciliation of family entanglement.

 

·         Dr. Jirina Prekop, who I feel on cordial terms with after so many joint inspiring lectures, numerous talks, amicable meetings at various places and last but not least the conveyance and experience of reconciliation therapy. And who was an understanding listener for me this week rejoicing with me.

 

·         My homeopathic doctors, esp. Dr. Manfred Freiherr von Ungern Sternberg, accompanying the necessary healing- and development process so effectively with the art of healing of homeopathy. Without their attendance, the whole positive development over many years culminating this week would not have been possible.